Moonlight on Mt. Ascension

The comeback I was hoping for, but wasn't sure I would get

Earlier this year, before Cocodona, I signed up for my first fixed-time race, a 12-hour overnight event called Moonlight on Mt. Ascenion in Helena, MT. I love running at night, and 8pm-8am on the weekend of the solstice sounded awesome!

Then Cocodona happened. The DNF, the attempt at recovery, the discovery of Overtraining Syndrome, more rest, more recovery. Before Cocodona, I hoped to set a new course record at the event, something over 50 miles in the 12 hours. After…

The struggle of holding two truths in my head was hard. People would ask how I was feeling or what I was doing next, and I would say, “Well, I’m signed up for a 12-hour overnight in Helena.” But I had no idea how it would go or if I should even do it. I was pondering dropping out…Up until the week of the race, I still felt stiff, slow, and generally bleh. Some days were better than others, but nothing felt like running all night was a great idea.

Not necessarily a bad one either, though, because I was excited for the event. And I hadn’t felt excited about running or racing in a long time. So when asked if I had plans or goals for the race, I buried my hope of 50+ miles and calmly answered the real truth: “We’ll just have to see what happens.” I was fully prepared to run a single loop and call it a day if I wasn’t feeling good. Nothing was worth jeopardizing my recovery.

But could I do it? Could I just maybe still find the power to run hard and get that CR? I secretly hoped so. I didn’t even tell my coach this was still a dream! It felt too far out of reach, too reckless. I needed to just run and focus on enjoying the experience, whatever that ended up being.

The day before I drove out to the race, on a very small uphill, I felt it. The feeling from months before, when my fitness was at its peak (before I got “too fit” as I’ve joked), I was flying, it was effortless, easy, to almost sashay my way to the top. Oh boy, that felt good. Maybe there is still a chance…

I relaxed as much as I could on Friday before packing up my gear, making a late afternoon cup of hot tea (what a treat!), and driving the 90 minutes to Helena. The tea, plus a bestie phone call catch-up, made me energized when I got to the start. I organized my gear how I thought made sense, realizing there is definitely a strategy to fixed time events, but I wasn’t sure what it was…What would I need later? Would it rain? Get cold? I tried to lay out everything in an easy-to-see and grab spot.

This makes sense, right?

A few leg swings (trying to be good about stretching and warming up!) and I walked the 15 feet or so to the starting area. Another runner chatted to me, wearing glitter on her face. She commented on how she didn’t realize other runners would have friends (crew) there, but she was excited for the challenge ahead. I agreed, joking that if she were local, she could see if anyone wanted to do a midnight visit with her, maybe have a parking lot party…The race director stepped up to explain the route and the rules.

While listening, I noticed the woman, Keiki, still had the glitter in her pocket. I’m not usually a glitter girlie, but this race felt like it needed that extra spark. After hearing that the 7-mile portion of the race would close at 6am (to allow runners 2 hours to finish it by 8) and the 4-mile portion would close at 7am (for 1 hour to finish), I walked back to Keiki, “Do you mind if I use some glitter?” I asked. She was thrilled to share and I did my best to slather the silver sparkles all over my face.

Keiki said, “You look fast. I bet you're going to win.” I froze. I didn’t know what to say. Of course, I wanted to be fast and to win, but again, I had no idea how my body would handle this much vert and volume. A 13-mile run the weekend before had felt extremely challenging. I couldn’t admit to myself, or her, how badly I did want to win. So I smiled and said, “We’ll see.” as I handed the glitter back.

Maybe glitter does make you fast?

I queued up my playlist (McBling Strut Pop) and hit “play” as soon as the race clock hit zero. Usually, I wait a few hours to start playing music in a race, but this time I wanted to be in my own zone from the jump. I didn’t want to listen to other runners talk about running (or anything else, really). I did my best to stay patient on the long climb out, but eventually pushed past a few runners to get towards the front pack. I was running towards the front of the “chase pack,” which is exactly where I like to be. The evening air was warm, and I was probably going a bit fast. But I felt good. Actually great. Better than I expected!

We hit the top of Mt. Ascension and began a gorgeous descent (the whole race is on mtn bike grade single track and is just super fun to run!) Another runner was hot on my heels, and then we both caught up with the runner ahead of us. I made sure there was plenty of room for the runner behind me to pass, but she never did. So the three of us ran down together. The runner in front, Jason, asked if I was Allison. I answered yes. It turned out he was also from Bozeman, and we talked about who we might have as mutual friends. The woman behind us was Chandra, from Missoula, and we had a great time chatting for a few miles.

Jason asked something about how I was feeling post-Cocodona, and I may have given a much longer than necessary answer. But I was just feeling incredible and so happy with that fact, that I explained how I was coming back from OTS, and the recovery from Cocodona had been long. But today I felt really good and was just happy for that!

Which was true…But I also really wanted to win. We passed back by the aid station, and I kept running right onto the 4-mile loop (the course is basically a figure 8 of two connected loops), which had been my plan all along. Jason and Chandra went into the aid station, so I ran the next 4 miles solo. I finished the full 11.6 miles in roughly 2 hours. Way faster than I expected!

Both Jason and Chandra caught back up to, and passed me, as we started the next 7-mile stretch. We chatted a bit more. I let Chandra lead the way up, trying not to let my competitive side get too far ahead. Being here and feeling good is the goal; you can’t control her race, just do what you can to the best of your ability. It doesn’t matter who wins or if you tie. Celebrate being able to run fast and have full leg extension! Nothing else matters.

Yeah, right. I did that, but also decided it was ok to try since I was feeling good and flew down the back half of the loop, creating some real distance from most of the other runners. I stopped briefly at the start of the small loop to adjust my shoelace, which was digging into my right ankle. My left leg started shaking. I realized I’d run almost 20 miles in 3.5 hours with not an insignificant amount of elevation gain (4k feet?) Suffice to say, I was back in race mode.

The smaller loop was harder in my experience than the longer loop. The climb seemed unending, the descent steeper; it just wasn’t my favorite. But I got around a second time and began a third climb up Mt. Ascenion. With my music in my ears, I didn’t mind running solo. I passed a few runners on their way down, but no one passed me going up. I started to think my secret goal was possible. Then I started doing the math.

Always bad news.

Math is hard for me when it’s NOT 1am and 5 hours into a race.

What I was thinking was…Are these loops 12 miles or 11.6? How is it being counted? I had thought prior that 4 full loops and 1 small loop at 12 miles and 4 miles would be 52 miles. But if they count it properly as 11.6…ok I lose .4 miles a loop…thats .4x.4…ok wait. .4+.4, ok .8. Now, .8+.8, which is 1.6, which let’s call that 2 miles so 4 whole loops is really 46, which means a single 4-mile loop gets me to 50, tying the CR. Not bad. But I’d need to do another 4-mile lap to set a new CR. Ugh! I don’t really want to do 3 of the small loops back to back…hmmmm

My third full loop was tough. The 4 miles felt endless, I was low energy, I started to lose some hope and focus. Should I keep going?

YES. This was not OTS speaking, just the normal, “I’ve been running for hours, and I’m kinda tired, and ultras are hard.” I ate a snack and kept on trucking.

I started my 4th loop and saw Chandra coming down off the loop. Was I really a lap ahead of her now? Maybe I’m not doing so terrible…

What a minute!

Ok, if I can get in 4 full loops at 46 miles before 6am, I can finish on a 7-mile loop, which will bring me to 53 miles.

With this new goal in mind, I really pushed hard. The thought of 3 small loops in a row was heinous enough to motivate me to run my last full loop pretty hard. I wanted to make sure I was going to beat the 6am cut off.

So I want to start my last 7-miles by 5:45am, which means I need to get back to the aid station by 4:40ish, preferably 4:35 so I can get water and snacks for the 4-mile and 7-mile portion and not have to stop again. Which means I need to run this downhill in about 30 minutes…

I made it to the aid station at 4:43am, filled water, grabbed snacks, and my second pair of headphones, dropped my waistlight, and grabbed my headlamp (since the sun would be up in a bout 30 minutes) and took off by 4:48. I had an hour and twelve minutes to go 4 miles+ with 1000 feet of gain. Let’s. Fucking. Go.

On the flat part of the loop, I was still running hard, Carrie Underwood’s Olympic anthem “The Champion” on repeat a few times.

I am invincible, unbreakable
Unstoppable, unshakable
They knock me down, I get up again
I am the champion, you're gon' know my name
You can't hurt me now, I can't feel the pain
I was made for this, yeah, I was born to win
I am the champion

I had been knocked down hard by Cocodona. But I got back up. I was patient. I leaned into rest and healing. But I was made for this. I was winning!

Crossing the timing mat for my final time up Mt. Acsenion, it was 5:43am. I nailed my goal and then some! Knowing I would not make it back down before 7am to complete a 5th full circumnavigation, I took my last climb easier. I took some videos recounting the experience and texted with Jeff, who was up as it was mid-afternoon in Germany.

Fun fact: while there is no cell service in the parking lot/aid station, I knew there had to be service at some point on the course, because this is the race Jeff was running when he texted me to ask me on a second date. Yes, you read that right. Mid-race, when he set the male course record of 65 miles, he asked if I wanted to go to Norris Hot Springs. That gesture brought home to me the adage, “If he wanted to, he would.”

3 years of adventures and off to many more!

That was 3 years ago! And now I was going to keep the course record in the family. His is still standing, and I would have the female record once I got back down.

Jeff reminded me to “finish strong,” and I did that as best I could. One of the male runners passed me on the climb, but I was not stoked on running more uphills at that point. Plus, he was struggling on the downhills, so I thought I might be able to catch him later. I took a final glance off the top of the peak, swapped my playlist to “Cocodona: the Musical” for some fresh motivation, and ran down as best I could. Nowhere near as fast as my 1st or 4th lap, but not too shabby.

I did pass the other runner, Dustin, with about 2.5 miles to go, encouraging him to make it down by 8am. I jogged along, forcing myself not to slow on the uphills. Finish strong.

At 7:38 am I saw the aid station and took out my headphones. Tears were in my eyes as I crossed the timing mat the last time. Despite months of feeling awful, despite an extremely challenging 190 miles in the desert, despite a slow road back, I was, in fact, back. I had stayed focused and in “race mode” the whole time. My patience (even though it was frustrating at times) paid off. Feeling weak or slow in time between Cocodona and now didn’t matter as much. I remembered what I am capable of doing on a good day!

I’m not the fastest runner or the best trail or ultra woman out there. Not by a long shot. But I like to think on my best day, I can hang with that chase pack and have a good showing. While I don’t want to be a professional runner, I can take it seriously and train like a professional. Now that I am learning to balance that properly in my life (aka take care of myself and not “over life”) I’m excited to see what lies ahead!

With my final descent, I managed to sneak into 2nd overall. But as my coach said, all the results are really just icing on the cake. To come back from OTS to 53 miles with nearly 9000 feet of climbing in under 12 hours AND HAVE FUN DOING IT is the real prize. Being stoked on running again is better than any trophy.